Anybody Seen My Future? I Think I Dropped It...

“If you had to pick one job to do for the rest of your life, what would it be?” Everyone has been asked this question at least once in his or her lives. When you and I were children, the answers seemed so simple. “I wanna be a fireman!” “I wanna be an astronaut!” “I wanna be a ninja!” (That was a real quote from my little cousin, by the way.) Notice now, to a mature mind, these answers seem impractical, don’t they? I believe that that’s the true gift of a child’s innocence. A kid has no limits. They want to be a fireman one day, an astronaut the next, and a ninja the day after that, and all the while, they believe that they can do the job, and do it well. Innocence does that: allows you to forget all about how much money you’ll make; how beautiful your spouse will be; if, with your current job, you can support a family with two-point-five kids or not. The future does not exist. Children live in the moment, and for the moment. Nothing afterward matters to them. If only I could think of the world in such simple terms.

Recently, I was again posed the question, word for word. “If you had to pick one job to do for the rest of your life, what would it be?” For the life of me, I couldn’t come up with an answer. Even a few years ago, it was so clear: “I’m going to graduate in Computer Science from U.L. Lafayette, and become a program writer for whatever company will take me.” Not so, anymore. After a couple of programming classes, I realized that I don’t enjoy programming in the least. It makes no sense to me, and I get no joy from it. It’s a chore. I have no urge to sit behind a monitor typing gibberish for the rest of my life. So, I switched majors to M.I.S. (it’s basically an I.T. degree without all of the math accompanying it), which was my fallback point all along, and I sit there still today. Waiting. Wondering about how things would be so dramatically different if I had stuck with computer science. Now, I find myself in doubt about my major again. This time is different, though. There is no fallback point; no second line of defenses to hold off the enemy that is the future. Cornered.

All the while, I’m bombarded by my father’s incessant hurrying nature. Unfortunately, I was born with his way of thinking. I’m constantly telling myself, “Think again, Luc. If you don’t want to do that, what DO you want to do? Hurry up. Make a decision. Quickly. You’re falling behind.” And indeed, all of my friends are now a semester ahead of me, though for most of them, this won’t be the case for long, since they feel the same way that I do (apparently being a code-monkey has lost its appeal for many besides myself). I suppose that I shouldn’t do that to myself, because college can last for as long as you like. Second chances galore, right?

Wrong. See, we have this system in Louisiana for college funding. It’s called TOPS (I’m not sure exactly what the acronym means), and it pays for $1,400 of your tuition per semester. Considering that tuition is generally $2,000 per semester depending on where you go, it’s not a bad deal… the problem is that it lasts for precisely eight semesters. Yes, that’s right. I have to graduate in four years, or else I’m S.O.L. for funding, unless I pay for it myself. With my meager salary, the chances of that happening are slim. That pretty much seals the deal. No going back. No more chances. Essentially… I’m trapped.
I don’t like being trapped.


Want to see how I think? Okay. Thought-process time:


Here's Train-o-thought #1:

If I switch majors, I’ll make less money.
But I should choose something that I enjoy, right?
Who cares about how much they make?
I want happiness…
…and money can’t buy happiness.


Here's Train-o-thought #2:

If I stay in M.I.S., I’ll be unhappy with what I do for a living.
But everybody hates their job, right?
Who cares about being satisfied?
I want money…
…and you’re always happy when you’ve got money.


ENOUGH.
I’m tired of this bickering inside my own head. It makes me sick.

Besides, I think I have an answer for that question now. What is it? I don’t want to do just one job for the rest of my life. I just want to be happy. Happy with whatever I do, wherever I end up, however much money I make. I want to be able to come home at the end of the day (wherever home is), yell “I’m home! If you need me, I’ll be asleep.” to my family, take off my shoes, relax, and be content. Isn’t that what everyone wants, deep down? I don’t have to be a millionaire. I don’t have to be famous. I just want to live, love, and be loved. That’s all. Simple.

Now I just sort out the rest of my college career and life in general, and I'll be set...


To anyone who had the guts to read this blog the entire way through, here’s the part where I congratulate you for making it without falling asleep. Congratulations! You get this box of confetti, which will be mailed to you posthaste, for you to throw on yourself. May it bring you many fine seconds of enjoyment.

Thanks for reading, and have a good day. :)

Opening Ceremonies

Ah, the first post. The first step to making the world a little larger. The precipice of the precipice, as it were. I'm always at a loss for words when it's time for the opening entry in any journal or blog, so I will do my best to be brief.

In this blog, I will reflect upon certain people, places, things, feelings, or whatever else I deem pertinent to write about. At any given time, I am prone to write about whatever I am thinking of at said time, without any rhyme or reason. I reserve the right to be completely random, futilely funny, and totally random (and I must confess, I can be random quite often). I will, however, just for you, make my observations and reflections as entertaining as possible, and I will do my best to write them in as book-worthy of a notation as I possibly can.

Also, I'd like to add that I heavily endorse criticism on my own pieces of work. If you have any advice or pointers, please don't hesitate to comment. I love writing, and I'm always ready to sharpen my skills through advice from others.

Well, that about covers it. Here's to the future, eh? I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I enjoy writing them. Thanks, and have a rockin' day.